| to tonia |
[09 Jun 2008|01:55pm] |
you used to be the center of my universe.
i miss you insanely.
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[06 Jan 2008|11:20am] |
i seem to have quit smoking. completely by accident.
i'm really sick, severe sore throat, achy, etc. and i just haven't had the desire to smoke at all. it's now been about 3 or 4 days i've gone without having one, so i figure i'll just stop.
i imagined it would be harder than that, but i haven't had any withdrawal symptoms of any kind. no bad cravings, no irritability or mood swings. i haven't really slept a lot, but i think that's more from the angry throat.
so yeah, i guess if you want to quit smoking and don't know how, my advice would be to go catch strep throat or something.
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[01 Oct 2007|02:40am] |
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you know, hiding information from someone, yeah. it's still lying.
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[04 Aug 2007|03:29am] |
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i never meant to let you let me feel this way.
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[28 Jul 2007|08:01pm] |
i used to pray nightly, and you were the alter.
did you know it then? i left myself on your nightstand next to a glass of water.
you tell me that i have sadness. i should have mentioned that you have always been the reason.
we've changed so much, you and i.
i know you aren't it, sometimes.
the mythic is yet to come.
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[25 Jul 2007|01:49am] |
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as we exist here together counting seconds as forever we're perfectly fine.
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[04 Nov 2006|02:55am] |
if you want me
fucking come on and break the door down
i'll be waiting
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[27 Sep 2006|08:49am] |
i've always felt this deep spiritual pull toward africa, and it just keeps getting stronger.
i've been looking up possible charity organizations to volunteer through, and have found a couple that i believe are worthwhile to look into.
who wants to go with me?
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[01 Sep 2006|03:50am] |
to my cat, a few haikus.
You're always typing
Well, let's see you ignore my
Sitting on your hands.
Am I in your way?
You seem to have this backwards.
This pillow's taken.
Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.
Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.
I only want you
to pay attention to me
when I want you to.
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[24 Jul 2006|11:21pm] |
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i'm living my life in a sort of panic.
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[18 Jul 2006|08:07am] |
i've lately come to the realization that i'm not cool anymore.
i used to have cool friends who i'd do lots of cool things with. and i'm still jealous of how it happened that i'm not a part of that anymore, but at the same time, i'm much happier with the people in my life now. because those friends, none of them were ever as close to me or as genuine as those i count as my friends now.
let's take heather, for instance.
i've done a ton of very "cool" things with heather. i counted her as one of my best friends. i'm not sure why anymore. heather is a bitch. she's one of the most cruel and condescending people i've ever met in my life. she doesn't ever take anyone else's feelings into consideration about anything, and will often turn others' pain into something to laugh at and ridicule. this made me incredibly afraid of her. i always tried to hide everything aout my life from her so as not to come into her wrath. i realized that this wasn't a friend. a friend is someone you can share your pain with without having to worry about how you will likely be treated later. and since i have broken myself off from heather, she has said some very nasty and immature things to me. and they've hurt. but in the end it was much easier to take the comments then to continue being around it every other day.
i know that heather will read this eventually, and she'll probably make some more nasty comments that will hurt me. but i needed to get this out. in case she decides to change her actions and the way she treats others, i will be here, willing to forgive the past and actually develop a real friendship with her. but i don't see that happening in the near future.
in the end, i'm happy with my life and the people in it. but we need to stop being lame and start doing some cooler shit.
i wanna be the girl with the most cake.
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[19 Jun 2006|06:46pm] |
did she make you cry, make you break down, shatter your illusions of love?
and is it over now, do you know how to pick up the pieces and go home?
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[16 Jun 2006|11:38am] |
my dreams turn into charged mosaics of the worst of my past, and behind me i see love where none existed.
i'm the one who coughed up the past, you stand blameless and spiteful. someone made a list of your myriad virtues, then the paper burned away. i watched you blow it up your nose.
i feel disgusted.
you have me trapped in an elastic tangle of future memories. and i miss what i always had and never wanted. did i give it up when you left, or far before?
i understand what it is to be haunted.
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[08 Feb 2006|02:19pm] |
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yesterday was my 21st birthday. i spent most of it in a bar.
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[26 Dec 2005|08:42am] |
dinner went well, suprisingly. everyone seemed to really like everything i made, so that's good.
i received many wonderful gifts. i spent time with my loved ones.
but then this morning, christmas got even more awesomer.
i found this site: www.agamesroom.com all of my favorite games? for download? the CD versions?! i am so blessed!
i hope everyone had a great holiday.
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[14 Dec 2005|09:45am] |
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Remember me the next time you die a little.
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[22 Nov 2005|08:37am] |
hello, i'm screwed.
i have to go to class today. my first class is at 10 am. that's in an hour and a half.
my car is dead.
my phone is also shut off.
so i have no method of communication with which to secure alternate transportation.
if there's any way you can help me, please get a hold of me. i have a test today worth 20% of my grade that i can't make up.
please please please.
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[31 Oct 2005|09:01pm] |
Subject: Rights at risk on the Supreme Court - time to speak out!
Hi, I just received an important message from MoveOn.org. Bush has caved to pressure from the far right and nominated Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. Alito is a notoriously radical judge who has attacked workers' rights, womens' rights and civil rights for years.
Please join me in signing the emergency petition to our Senators, asking them to stand up for us and block this nomination.
http://political.moveon.org/stopalito
Thanks!
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[23 Oct 2005|06:14pm] |
you've undermined everything i've worked so hard against in two words.
congratulations.
paint it black and white and easy.
my most painful memories always come accompanied by a static glow.
i need you.
please come home.
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